Every Rose Has Its Thorn
by UniqueChaotic
Summary: The Joker breaks up with Harley in a less than practical way. Ivy finds her and takes her in and realizes theres something about harley Ivy just cant help but love things go south when the Joker finds out Harleys still alive and wants her back. Lime: JokerxHarley M/F IvyxHarley F/F
1. Chapter 1

The past couple weeks had been rough. They had bounced from motel to motel looking for a new place to call home leaving a messy trail of bodies along the way. "Ive got a surprise for you!" Joker smiled walking into the motel room laying on the bed with her. "What baby?" Harley asked. He got on top of her and ran his finger over a bruise on her face. It had aslo been a very violent adventure. Sometimes the littlest things would set him off. Some how though although he never said sorry he had his ways of making things right. "I was riding around with lefty" He kissed her neck. "And I spotted something" He worked his way down her chest. "It needs a little love" down her stomach. "But its perfect" He pulled down her pants. "A new happy home for us" He pulled them off her ankles. "Really!?" She smiled ear to ear. "Ooooooo" she swooned as his tongue began to lick her downstairs. She ran her fingers through his hair a tugged ever so gently. "I love you" She swooned as he went to work on her licking and sucking. Sometimes all the bad days were worth these moments.

"Oh pudding its perfect" She said looking at it. It was filthy. 'The Laugh Factory' read on the faded broken sign. Another abandoned building but this one was a comedy club! Lefty and rocko began unloading the truck with the bed and tv and any other furniture they had stolen from the motel rooms after murdering the managers. "Go get us some necessities" He said handing her a roll of money. She loved going shopping for stuff for the house. She was the happy home maker. She bought everything. Dishes, towels, detergent, new sheets, and groceries. Oh how wonderful it was to have a place called home. As she walked up to the checkout the chasier looked at her "You alright?" The man asked handing her the bags pointing out the bruise on her cheek. "Im FINE" Harley hissed snatching the bags. She returned to there new home and began setting up shop Her honey was working on a very cartoonish looking rocket. "Those bat fakes are gonna love this" Joker laughed. There were pictures of Bat girl and robin already posted all over the walls of his now work area. For 2 weeks she made the new home official. Everything was nice and neat she cooked and cleaned and made everything just perfect. She finished doing the dishes later than usual. She yawned and was ready for bed. She opened the door to see him already asleep. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. She smiled and slid into bed and wrapped her arms around him snuggling up to him and kissing his back. She ran her hands down his torso and massaged his family jewels. Despite all the violence and fighting they had a fantastic love life. He groaned a little and then said it "I had a rough night Jeanie". Her throat began to swell up again. "Whose Jeanie?" She asked more upset than she had ever been. He said nothing just laid there sleeping. "Honey" She shook his arm in fear "Whose Jeanie?" Her voice cracked. Tears started to well in her eyes. "Puddin wake up" she cried. He turned around and looked at her through squinted eyes. "What pumpkin? Daddys tired" Harley looked down at him with worried eyes"You were talking in your sleep..Whose Jeanie?" That name had snapped him wide awake. He jumped up and punched her right in the head knocking her lights out.

She woke up groggy and in pain. "Listen, Alot of things have been changing for me lately" His voice called out. She couldnt move. "I just havent been feeling my ol crazy self lately so I think we should have some time apart" She realized she was tied to something. Her vision became clear he was pacing in circles. They were outside why were they outside? Then she realized it. "I really wanted to save this for the bat fakes but Im sure ill think of something else for them." He lit a match. She was tied to that dam rocket! "No baby please I-I-Im sorry it wont happen again I Promise!" He looked her dead in her face with an almost apologetic smile. Almost. "Im sorry hunny" He actually said sorry. He was gonna let her go. "But your fired" He giggled lighting the rocket. She screamed as she was sent flying into the air. She watched helplessly as he waved goodbye to her and the ground beneath her got smaller and smaller as she got higher. She screamed even more when the ropes came loose and she fell off the rocket. She was so scared her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she fell unconscious. WHAM! It was a soft landing that woke her up instead of death by splatter. Her eyes shot open to see... purple? She was trapped in something...leafy? Suddenly whatever she was trapped in moved and spit her out! She fell to the ground and looked up at it. It was a giant flower! She tried to move but her body just wouldnt let her. "You're lucky that ones a vegetarian" A woman's voice beckoned from the darkness. . She looked up through groggy eyes to see a woman. Her skin was a tinted green her hair was as red as all the flowers around her. She parted her green lips and whispered out "But this one isnt" The woman smiled evily as a more carnivorous looking plant curled around her arm and opened its pod mouth prickly cactus looking spikes for teeth stretching out. "Oh go ahead, Ive been beat up and blown up...I dont care what happens to me I wish I was dead." She said tears running down her cheeks She wished she was dead? Now Pamela Isley better known as Poision Ivy was less than fond of the human race since her transformation from driven botanist to a plant hybrid eco-terrorist, But seeing this woman asking for death made her curious. Humans were so greedy and selfish so why would she want to die? She picked up the womans body and brought her to her home. It was a beautiful Garden hidden behind a run down toxic waste dump. Secretly she had began her work there. Letting mother nature heal the land all the while ridding the world of the scum who came there to poison it.

She sat at her desk playing with the lab equipment. She had about 10 minutes before the toxic fumes of her home would kill the woman. She turned on the burner and tightened the gas bottle she held out her hand as one of her plants extended its fine twords her and willingly shed a few of its leaves. She snipped the leaved up and placed them in a flask. She added some other chemicals and watched as the leaves evaporated and out dripped an orange liquid that she cultivated into a sryinge. She approached the unconscious woman laid out on her bed. Getting a close look she was actually very pretty. She had the face of an angel although her body showed clear signs of abuse. She was covered in old bruises and cuts. Clearly something that didnt occur on her fall into the orchid. She injected the woman with the serum and sat watching her closely. Harleys eyes flickered open as she woke up. She looked around seeing she was safe. She saw the woman from earlier sitting down watching her. She tried to get up but she couldnt find the motivation to do so. She thought about him. ' I think we should have some time apart' His words echoed in her mind. Her mouth twisted into a long frown as she began to weep uncontrollably. Ivy suddenly felt bad. Watching this woman cry with such deep rooted pain bothered her down to her own heart. "Its alright..." Ivy said softly approaching her awkwardly placing her hands on Harleys shoulders in an attempt to console. Harley immediately grabbed Ivy and began crying and wailing into her breasts. "There there" Ivy said a bit confused stroking Harleys hair it was so soft. "Ahhhhhhhhh!' Harley screamed in her cries in Ivys bussom. The plants outside began to russtle. Suddenly angry Ivy grabbed her by her shoulders and stared her in the face "That enough!" She growled "You're upsetting my babies". Harley looked at the window to see the plants slithering and shaking. "Im sorry..." Harley said watching the plants slowly go back to there calm nature. Harley looked back at the woman and realized she had seen her somewhere before."Hey I know you. I saw you on tv once. right?" Harley asked. "IVEY, Call me Ivy. Isley was my slave name...before I became one with mother nature" Ivy said vines wrapping them selves around her. "What happened to you?" Ivy asked looked at her tattered state. Harley looked down at herself. Her costume was ripped up she was bleeding had a bunch of scraps all over not to mention old bruises. "My boyfriend dumped me.." Harley sniffed. Looking at the gound. Ivy rolled her eyes"Pffffftt is that ALL? Men! Who needs them". Harley began to day dream about her love. It was horrible he had just tried to kill her yet she

still loved him. Harley tried to defend him "Hes different. Hes got the most beautiful green eyes and his smile just does things to me-" Ivy eyed her carefully looking at the diamond printed jester like costume. "But most of all he makes me laugh" Harley smiled. Ivy easily put 2 and 2 together. "Oh god dont tell me youre the Jokers girl?" She said eyes wide with disbelief. Harley smiled a bit of embarrassment coming to her face in a shade of pink. Ivy shot her a look of pure disbelief. "Why do you put up with that clown!?" Ivy yelled. She grabbed Harleys arm showing her bruises and scrapes. "Look what hes done to you!". Harley pulled her arm back and held it to her chest. "I mean he roughs me up sometimes but he loves me REALLY" Ivy got up and walked to the kitchen "Sure he does." Ivy teased. Harley got up to follow Ivy and to her surprise she wasnt in pain she actually felt great. "Wow I feel amazing!" Harley said smiling doing a cartwheel. "I gave you and injection of a plant enzyme so you wouldnt die. The fumes here are venomous it also does wonders for the cerebellum" She smiled opening up one of the kitchen drawers. "The who?" Harley asked scratching her head. Ivy pulled out two knives and threw them at her. Without a second thought harley grabbed both knives. She stopped and looked at the knives in her hands. "Holy crap!" She smiled dropping the knives. Ivy closed her eyes and smiled at her childish demeanor. She was crushed as Harley hugged her and hoisted her off the ground. "Oh thanks Red youre the best!" She cheered. Ivy gasped for air as her chest was crushed. "Let... me... go" She spit out. "Oh" Harley let her go. All the plants in the house started hissing at Harley. She smiled nervously "Sorry"


	2. Chapter 2

"What are we doing here?" Harley asked clutching her pop gun. "Theres a toxin here they stole from me. So Im taking it back and giving them a taste of there own medicine." She smiled. They were parked outside the GCPD. Harley eyed all the officers with there guns. "Um are you sure about this red?" She asked beginning to sweat. "Were not going to just walk into the place Harl" She said. The two got out and walked to a near by man hole cover. Harley went to lift it up but it was heavier than she expected and dropped it right on ivys foot. Ivy screamed as harley patted her on the back. Ivy growled in anger and pulled harley by her jester hat. She didnt know why she let her live especially after all the grief she had caused her in such a short amount of time. Ivy threw some seeds into the hole. A deep cracking sound echoed within the sewer and a plant came sprouting out. "Convenient" Harley smiled. Ivy clutched herself around the plant and slid down. The plant began to descend back down in the sewer so harley hurried and grabbed onto it. They walked through the dirty sewers. "A little farther" Ivy said looking up at the dark ceiling. Harley pulled out a Jester shaped flash flight and shined it up. "There!" Ivy said pointing to the a pipe. The plant hoisted the two up into the pipe. Working there way through the pipe they found themselves in the showers. "This isnt the evidence room" Harley whispered. "Its just down the hallway" Ivy Whispered walking ahead to the door. Harley grabbed Ivy by her shoulders "Are you crazy? Theres a butt load of cops out there!" she said scared for her life. "Relax" She said flinging the door open. 3 cops were standing in the hall talking. "What the hell?" One of them said getting a look at this green skinned woman in a leafy leotard. They all pulled there guns out. "Oh crap" Harley said putting her hands up. Ivy walked seductively towards the men. "You're not gonna hurt little ol me are you?" She worked her hands up her body and whipped her red hair. The men began to lower there guns. She kissed her hand and blew it to the men. Glittering specks hit them and there eyes became an acid green color. They all stood there zombied out. "Come on Harley" Ivy said looking back at her giving her a wink and a smile. "You got style red" Harley grinned emerging from the shower. "This is true" Smiled. They walked up to the evidence room. Ivy pulled on the knob only to find it was locked. She pulled some more seed outs from her pocket. "Ahem" Harley said. Ivy turned around to see She was leaned against one of the officers dangling the keys she had taken off them. "Not everything is solved with violence ya know" Harley mocked. Ivy snatched the keys "Tell that to your ex-boyfriend" She retorted. Harley furred her brown and stuck out her lip following Ivy into the evidence room. Ivy hurried to find her goodies while Harley looked around eyeing all the boxes. Boxes upon boxes all stacked up ontop of each other. They were all stacked in order of last to first name. She couldnt help herself but to go straight to the J's. James...Jefferson...Joker. Only one name on the boxes. There were at least ten. She popped one open and looked inside. There was a stack of razor playing cards covered in blood in a plastic bag she looked at them closely all the detail of the jester on them. The curved lettering of the word 'Joker'. She took a deep breath in. "What are you doing!?" Ivys voice broke her train of thought. Harley stood there caught. "Will you stop! I cant believe youre still mooning over that psychotic creep!" She said anger burning within her green eyes. She sighed deeply and leaned up against the boxes. "Maybe id feel better if I knew he missed me too..." She said with a sad tone. She fell back against the unstable boxes sending them all crashing down. "Come on lets get out of here" Ivy said turning back to the door. Harley got up and looked at the mess of spilled boxes. Her eyes couldnt believe what she was seeing. "Um Red?" She said with a giant smile. "What?!" She turned around annoyed. "Oh" She gasped at the site.

He rolled over half asleep and hit the floor. He grit his teeth and growled in anger. This was the second time this week this happened., He had gotten use to rolling over to a lump of soft delicate flesh next to him. Oh well. He got up and jumped in the shower alone. Alone again! Thank god she wasnt there taking up all the room...rubbing her wet breasts up against his chest. He shook the thoughts from his brain and ran shampoo through his thick green mane of hair. He got out. No towel. This was just not his day. He left a trail of water from the shower to his room as he digged through the hamper grabbing an old towel. He got himself dressed in his purple suit opened his dresser drawer to see nothing but emptiness. NO SOCKS. He huffed. Yes he had gotten lazy. That damn woman did everything for him. She spoiled him. Hed admit it. She would have everything nice and neatly in its place waiting for him. He was back on his own again. Neglecting the laundry and all the household things she would do for him. Being a week in without her he was finally realizing how much of a mess everything was. The laundry was piling up the dishes wernt done the place was a mess. He put his shoes on anyway without socks which went completely against his very formal dressing nature. He went down stairs to see his goons already awake all huddled together. "Should we tell him?" lefty asked. "God no you saw what he did to her what do you think hell do to us when he finds out?" He snuck quietly behind them. "FIND OUT WHAT!?" He growled at them bearing his teeth. They all turned around in fear. He noticed rocko was holding a newspaper. He snatched it from her and read it... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! His scream echoed off the walls and back into his brain.

'New Queens of Crime steal $50,000 from evidence lockup at GCPD in Falcone drug ring case. Carmine Falcone to walk free' The two looked at the headline and smiled. A photo from surveillance cameras of them both fleeing the scene. "Happy day Happy day!" Harley squealed grabbing the scissors cutting the article picture out to put it on the fridge. As she lifted it up underneath she saw it. A picture of her beloved Joker with the title 'Maniac still on the run' That was HER maniac...Ivy saw the article and quickly crumbled up the news paper and snatched the clipping from her and put it on the fridge.

They both laid down in bed. Harley was asleep. Ivy was still awake waiting for sleep to hit her. She looked at Harley. That maniac had almost killed her and STILL she cared for him. Ivy could understand if she was ugly or was a bad person. But Harley was beautiful which meant a lot coming from Ivy since she found the entire human race disgusting. She wasn't a bad person either. A little dim witted but she still had good intentions. Harley wrapped her hands around Ivy's waist and snuggled herself close rubbing her face in Ivy's breasts. Ivy blushed. "Harley?" She asked looking down at her. She was so needy Ivy thought. Harley didn't answer clearly deep in sleep. Ivy wrapped her legs around one of Harleys legs a held her. She looked like an angel. Just like the first time she saw her. How could the joker be so blind so dumb. Her eyelashes were nice and curly her hair soft and golden. She stared at her face her beautiful rose colored lips that were slightly parted from laying her cheek on Ivys breast. Her heart beat faster in her chest just looking at her. What was this feeling? She leaned in close to her there noses touching then closed her eyes and kissed her. To her surprise Harley kissed her back even stuck her tongue into Ivy's mouth. She was shocked that feeling melted away into a warm heartfelt blush. She placed her hand under harleys shirt grasping her petite breast. Hers were bigger than Harleys but she had always admired the more athletic toned B cup breasts. With the other hand she grabbed one of her pig tails and twirled the end around her finger. "I love you Mr.J" Harley whimpered out. Ivy's heart stopped a bit of range and embarrassment emerging within her. Even asleep she was smitten with the goddam clown. She felt bad almost as if she had taken advantage of her. Inevitability though she thought looking down at her. It was worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

She dreamed of him as she had dreamed of him many times. He had kissed her deeply passionately. He grasped her breasts and pulled her close. Playing with her pigtails as he always did. They rolled around on a bed of flowers. She jumped ontop of him "Oh mista J" she said looking down only to realize she was alone. He wasnt there. She sat there alone on the flowers as they slowly withered and died.

"Breakfast" Harley sat at the table as Ivy served breakfast. "Sleep good?" Ivy asked a bit nervous. Harley sat and looked at the empty plate in front of her "I had the strangest dream..." She said. Ivy scraped the spinach omelet from the pan as her heart beat raced faster. "About what?" She asked putting the omelet on Harleys plate. "I keep dreaming about Mr. J but he always disape-" Ivy stabbed a fork into the omelet. "Oh will you stop!" Ivy snapped. Harley shot a scared look at her. Ivy suddenly felt bad realizing she was really more jealous than she was annoyed. Seeing the sadness well within Harleys blue eyes she decided to try and brighten her up. She pulled a stack of money out of one of the kitchen drawers. "You know whats the use in having all this money if were not gonna go spend it. Hows about we get dolled up and go shopping?" She suggested. Harleys frown turned upside down.

"Dont talk to anyone" Ivy said patting powder on her face camouflaging her green beige and placing on her sunglasses as they drove into Gotham. Harley looked at ivy. It was funny some how the make up made her less attractive. She envied Ivy. She had a nice body and beautiful hair she was smart and cunning. "You know red green is definitely your color" Harley said looking at her. Ivy just looked at her and smiled. "Put the scarf on" Ivy said handing it to her. "Oh come on red you dont think the hats enough?" Ivy shoved the scarf at her "Im not getting caught because someone recognizes you as that nuts little hench wench." Harley tightened the scarf around her and huffed. They both entered the store and smiled "Jewelry!" Harley beamed. "Home and Garden!" Ivy Smiled. They both looked at each other and laughed. They both went around shopping buyer whatever there heart desired. "Ready?" Ivy said Hands full of bags. "Ready" Harley smiled also carrying lots of bags. As they walked out ivy dropped one of her bags. A handsome tall man picked it up. "You dropped this Ms." The man said. Icy turned around and the man handed her the bag. Harley turned around and looked at him. "Hey I know you!" Harley said. "You're Bruce Wayne the boy billionaire!" Ivy turned to him and took her bag "Thank you" she said swiftly turning around to leave. She pushed Harley. "Hey!" she cried. "Come on..." She growled under her breath. Bruce watched the two take there leave and noticed the womans hand was a tint green. He looked at his own hand to realize there was make up on it that had rubbed off the womans hand, He glared as the two left out the door. "Are you crazy?" Ivy asked Harley as they walked to the car. "...yes" Harley smiled.

When they got home they went through there things. She had bought new pots and pans a blender silverware more pots and gardening tools. "Im gonna go hang up the clothes I bought" Harley said. Ivy was busy with all her new things and she knew she had a chance to sneak away for a few moments. She couldnt take it anymore. She picked up the phone and called the laugh factory.

He sat there grinding his teeth. He NEVER grinded his teeth unless he was on the verge of MEANINGFUL murder. The phone rand and she damn near yanked it out of the wall "WHAT!?" He screamed. "Mr.J?" He small squeak of a voice managed to come out. "Harley?" He asked a bit shocked she had called him. He thought she was done with him adopted a new life of crime with pammy and left him in the dust but no his hooks were still deep in her dragging her back to him...She was crazier than he thought! This was the second time he truly meant to kill her and here she was again survived and back for more! He turned on the GPS tracker they had hooked to the phone. "Hi puddin..ya still angry with me?" She blubbered out. He buttered her up "Awwww hunny bunny you know I cant hold a grudge...where are you?" He hissed. "Im..safe. I just wanted to call and let you know im ok...I gotta go I love you" She whispered hanging up hearing Ivy turning the door knob. "You ok?" Ivy asked. "Im fine" she lied. "Ive got dinner ready" Ivy said. Harley walking into the dining room to an amazing sight. The lights were out candles lit the place. There dinner sat with a big bouquet of white roses as the center piece. "Oh wow red this is really nice" She said staring at the flowers. She really did love flowers. They sat down and started eating dinner. "Listen" Ivy started watching Harley scarf down dinner. "I know I get on you a lot about you still having feelings for that maniac...but its just I think youre beautiful and funny and a good person..." Harley stared at her through big blue innocent eyes her mouth stuffed with food. "What Im trying to say" Ivy said taking her hand. She was interrupted by her plants acting up. "Whats that?" Harley asked swallowing her food. Ivy and Harley headed to the door. Ivy gasped and damn near had a heart attack. Harley was filled with an abundance of joy. There he was in a gas mask spraying the plants in his way with weed eater making his way to there happy home. "Hello ladies just taking care of some of these pesky plants here" He said charismatically. Harley smiled ready to jump into his arms but Ivy acted first she snapped lunging at him with an out of touch with reality stare. One harley was way to familiar with. "Red!" She cried as she ringed her hands around his neck shaking him and slamming his head to the ground repeatedly knocking off his gas mask. It wasn't just jealousy this sick side show was killing her babies! "Please red!" Harley cried trying to pull her off him. He grabbed the sprayer and misted ivy in the face with the pesticide. She fell to the ground coughing as green viens in her face began to show up. He stood above her and aimed at her again. "No puddin dont!" Harley cried grabbing the sleeve of his jacket. Ivy knew he would shove her to the ground or slap her anything to get her out of the way as always. She wouldn't give him that chance. Vines wrapped him up tightly. She was going to kill him. Stop the madness once and for all. She tightened the grip of the vines. Terrorist. Tighter. Psychopath. Tighter. Murderer. Tighter. WOMAN BEATER. The vines wrapped so tight blood began to pool out of his mouth and his skin started turning blue, "Please!" The voice screamed breaking her concentration. She snapped back to reality to see Harley pulling on her arm tears gushing from her eyes down her face mascara smeared pleading to her. She let him go. She didnt want to but she couldnt stand to see her like this. "Good to see you too Pammy" He coughed on toxins trying to laugh. The poisons were starting to take effect as his skin started to get a blotchy see through effect to it. Harley hoisted him up "Help him Red! Ill do anything" She cried. Ivy knew she would. She would do ANYTHING for him. If he told her to get on all fours so he could use her as a foot rest she would. "Come on" She hissed storming back into the house. All the plants hissed as harley dragged him in. Ivy went over and clipped a few leaves off her plant and handed it to harley. Harley hurried and stuffed him in his mouth. He swallowed them and slowly his skin began to return to its abnormal white self. "Its me or him harley!" She yelled shaking. Harley looked at her realizing what she was saying. "Youre my best friend Red..." Harley said crying. Ivy knew the answer already. "Youre just another mindless meat sack like the rest of them!" Ivy screamed grabbing the vase of flowers and smashing it to the ground. Harley looked into her eyes and realized. She wasnt angry. She was trying to be angry because she was sad she was hurt... "Tender moment? Should I give you two a minute?" Joker smiled. Ivy Grit her teeth and grabbed a knife off the table. Harley grabbed Ivy's face and kissed her so fiercely that she dropped the knife. Jokers eyes went wide at the sight. The two finally broke there kiss and looked at each other. Harley smiled and handed her a jewelry box. "Ya know I guess its them sparkly pheromone things ya got but it made me just love ya so much" She cried backing up and taking her place back with the joker. "Im sorry hope we can still be friends" She said pushing the joker out the door with her. Ivy sniffed and wiped her tears and opened the box. It was a pair of diamond rose shaped earnings. She closed the box and clenched it in her fist. The door opened back up and her head shot up expecting it to be Harley but instead it was HIM. "Listen, I really hope theres no hard feelings between us. So I just wanted to let you know if youre ever up for some GROUP fun id be fine sharing Harley with you...HAHAHAHAHAHA" He laughed. "Get out" She whispered too tired for his games. "And by the way she liked RED roses" He smiled taking his leave. She looked down at the smashed vase of white roses. The only thing that had really gotten to her was what Harley had said about the pheromones making her love her.

Her pheromones didn't work on women.

Thanks for reading! As with all my stories heres the soundtrack ive chosen for this lovely story.

Foster the people – Best Friend

Beyonce – If I were a boy

Sam Smith – Stay with me


End file.
